# what can i take to stop being such an asshole?



## djpase (Feb 23, 2015)

well since im from new york and moved down south , i know that will never change. 

but seriously i really need to do something to stop being such an asshole. my attitude is crazy and i flip out on my girl for the smallest thing. even when ppl are driving the speed limit in front of me i just wanna rip them out of the car and beat them to a bloody pulp. i have the sweetest girl in the world and shes so supportive of everything i do good and bad. things moved very fast and she now lives with me. so its all new and stressful. i really want to be nice and i do hold back alot but i just want to be really nice to her because she deserves it and overall im a very chill person. i know i took this last cycle way too far(5 months) but im cruising now for 8 weeks. its calming down a lil bit, but i know when i start up again im gonna go back to being a dick all the time. i honestly dont mean to be, but i just cant help it. what can i take if anything to help that? not cycling is not an option. and i used to say all the time that ppl who cant handle gear shouldnt be using it if they cant control there tempers. low and behold , thats now me... i was fine untill she moved in but now its bad because im with her all the time. she cant move at right now nor do i want that. i just want to be nice.. pls dont get into relationship advice, i just want to take a happy pill or something. 

im 100% serious about this too, pls help bros


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## psych (Feb 23, 2015)

I work in the psych field so bare with me...this is not relationship advice, i'm talking about you.

1. A move is stressful
2. A fast relationship with the person moving in is very stressful
3. Other factors like moving away from family, new job, new house, new area and surroundings, new culture (NY to the south has to be!)
4. Knowing you're being a dick and trying not to be sure as fuck is stressful

Stress bro...all just stress. You're just reacting how you're wired. FIGHT or FLIGHT and you're in fight mode. That doesn't mean you start swinging on shit when dinner is late. WHICH YOU DIDN'T say you did. it's just an example because when people hear that they think fight as in bare knuckle bash fest. You're just stress so your anxiety is high and you react with aggression. IT'S A NORMAL MALE RESPONSE. You just need time to consolidate and get use to life changes, and you're going about it in a good way, by recognizing it and asking for help. 

Just chill, relax, plan next cycle and avoid compounds like tren if it gets you wired up, and train. A happy little pill is the last thing you want cause it doesn't fix underlying problem. It just covers it and psych meds like SSRI's, benzos, anxiolytics aren't things you don't want to fuck with...


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## Sully (Feb 23, 2015)

Don't look for the easy way by taking a pill and deal with your issues. See a therapist and seek out anger management therapy. See a relationship counselor. If this relationship is really that important to you, you will make a serious effort to deal with the underlying issues and grow as a person in order to make the relationship work. 

And as a side note, you do realize that you actually said that using AAS is more important to you than your relationship? Perhaps take a long look at your priorities and reexamine what is most important in your life.


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## djpase (Feb 23, 2015)

psych said:


> I work in the psych field so bare with me...this is not relationship advice, i'm talking about you.
> 
> 1. A move is stressful
> 2. A fast relationship with the person moving in is very stressful
> ...



ty bro.  and just to make it clear i def do not hit my girl, never hit any gf, it wont come to that i can guarantee that.  the only other time i was like this in a relationship is when i was cycling too. i have been on xanax in the past. i am very high stress and high anxiety. i know a  happy pill isnt the answer but i was hoping there was something to take for it as a side to the test.  i LOVE tren and plan on doing 1gram per week next cycle and trying to lower the test. i know most of it is in my head, and my life has been pretty stressful lately. not working, in alot of pain and need 3 surgeries this year. one being my back and i will be out of commision for 3 months. ive been putting off the surgeries but really need to take care of them. anyway she is def a real sweetheart and i just was hoping to take something to lower that . i didnt know if there was something i was missing that im not taking to help with that side? i know im not the only person who gets like this during a cycle. what other compounds cause this mostly?


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## djpase (Feb 23, 2015)

Lil' Sully said:


> Don't look for the easy way by taking a pill and deal with your issues. See a therapist and seek out anger management therapy. See a relationship counselor. If this relationship is really that important to you, you will make a serious effort to deal with the underlying issues and grow as a person in order to make the relationship work.
> 
> And as a side note, you do realize that you actually said that using AAS is more important to you than your relationship? Perhaps take a long look at your priorities and reexamine what is most important in your life.



i hear ya bro, im on trt most likely due to lack of knowledge and doing a cycle when i was like 19 and not doing any pct. so either way i will still be on a lil test. not that i dont appreciate the relationship advice, but this is the anabolic forum and didnt want to post in wrong area. i have no problem with therapy what so ever, its very healthy. i am willing to do what ever to make it work, except for not using aas. that was made clear in in the beginning of the relationship. i will stop when im done, i will do shorter, lighter cycles if need be to lower the sides


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## lycan Venom (Feb 23, 2015)

I think psych and Lil sully hit it dead on. maybe see a therapist for anger management skills and who knows they might have you see a dr. and get some chill pills lmfao.


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## srd1 (Feb 23, 2015)

Oxytocin help me brother...but as stated above you might wanna talk to someone to learn some management skills a combination of the 2 would prob fix ya right up.


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## humpthebobcat (Feb 23, 2015)

smoking a joint would fix ya right up imo...Arnold is número uno!

If not then ya, you need anger management therapy...had a couple co workers be forced into it lol...seems to help


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## chrisr116 (Feb 23, 2015)

I have been on Prozac for almost 20 years now.  It helps a lot but my temper can still flare up.  Don't jump on any meds like that without doing research.  Also, people down south are completely different than from up North.  I know.  I live in Georgia.   Lol.  If you can, I'd suggest going and talking to a therapist.   Preferably a hot blond one.  Lol


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## 101st Ranger (Feb 23, 2015)

Masterbate more. 

It's very therapeutic.


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## The Grim Repper (Feb 23, 2015)

The answers are within you brother.  Google 'mindfulness' and start living in the moment.  Be 'here' and aware of the moments you are living right now, not the good ones of days gone by that you wish were still here or the 'better' ones to come.  That longing/craving for another existence makes you forget and take the one you're in for granted.  Meditate.  Learn to ignore those selfish thoughts and give more.  Be kinder.  This is the change you need.  Good luck man.


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## djpase (Feb 23, 2015)

ok well if everyone calls you a horse, your prob a horse. i  guess im just a dick then, lol. i have no prob with seeing someone. i just thought it was the test making me act like a dick, this only happens when im on gear. i was used to banging mad diff girls all week long and really just wanted a good girl to be in a relationship with for the last year. if you read my early posts from when i joined and my intro you will remember i was having erection problems too. well i almost got a surgery to implant a pump in my cock for it. even when i had the hottest girl in front of me, i couldnt even stay hard for her. i even had to get injections in my dick for it. viagra/cialis/and even m2 all together wouldnt keep me hard.  well it was all in my head  too. now that im with some1 i love and have feelings for i have no issues at all. i can stay hard with no help at all 100%. dont know if it was the gear or my head but things are great now. i do know i need to see someone anyway because i have gone thru alot in my life, and so has she. i really dont get sleep either. maybe 3hrs a night if im lucky. as soon as i do get deep sleep i have bad nightmares and wake up shaking. plus im a night owl, and shes a morning person. so once i go to bed, shes up and making noise. im not working  a.t.m. so i can be up really late, and wired( not on drugs wired, just naturally wide awake)  i relly dont like smoking weed anymore. i used to smoke an ounce a day when i was younger, but stopped. the exotics today are off the hook and just get me too high to enjoy it. i have allways wondered about oxytoxin, anybody else have any experience with this?
pls chime in ur exp.  if so.


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## djpase (Feb 23, 2015)

101st Ranger said:


> Masterbate more.
> 
> It's very therapeutic.



bro i do, a lot. and the sex is good and she on me all day just whipping it out and blowing me for no reason. our sex life is strong, yet i still rub them out daily


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## thebrick (Feb 23, 2015)

I've been there too. You are acting on impulse feelings. Recognize it for what it is. When you feel the anger exploding in that second recognize it for what it is and tell yourself, here it comes and the result might be much worse and I'll be mopping up a big mess if I don't control it. Then stop right there and tell yourself, I'll act on this in 60 seconds, but first…. you take a few deep breaths feeling the air slowly leave your lungs and hopefully some of the impulse will go out as well and you will calm down enough to control it. You can do this without meds. And keep at it until you get really good at it. Good luck bro.


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## chrisr116 (Feb 23, 2015)

The Grim Repper said:


> The answers are within you brother.  Google 'mindfulness' and start living in the moment.  Be 'here' and aware of the moments you are living right now, not the good ones of days gone by that you wish were still here or the 'better' ones to come.  That longing/craving for another existence makes you forget and take the one you're in for granted.  Meditate.  Learn to ignore those selfish thoughts and give more.  Be kinder.  This is the change you need.  Good luck man.



Well said...


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## srd1 (Feb 23, 2015)

I did a log on oxytocin and epithalon shit worked for me brother accomplished everyting it claimed to do. It will prob help you alot with getting a full night of restfull sleep also...but in my opinion it would just be a band aid fix for ya learning to cope with the different issues as they arise will benefit you a great deal more in the long run. As far as the test making you aggressive Im actually more calm and laid back when im on cycle (with the exception of tren) What Ive noticed over the years with different people is if your a dick before a cycle youll be an even bigger dick when your on...if your cool and laid back normally you will be even more so when on. Just my 2 pennies.


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## djpase (Feb 23, 2015)

thebrick said:


> I've been there too. You are acting on impulse feelings. Recognize it for what it is. When you feel the anger exploding in that second recognize it for what it is and tell yourself, here it comes and the result might be much worse and I'll be mopping up a big mess if I don't control it. Then stop right there and tell yourself, I'll act on this in 60 seconds, but first…. you take a few deep breaths feeling the air slowly leave your lungs and hopefully some of the impulse will go out as well and you will calm down enough to control it. You can do this without meds. And keep at it until you get really good at it. Good luck bro.



ok let me say something because i think i made it sound way worse then it really is. im not hitting her, screaming at her, throwing stufff or punching holes in my walls or anything like that at all. as far as driving, yes i always have had road rage and yell at every car i see. but i dont do that to my girl. i do get a lil attitude very easy but im not yelling at her and goin roid rage ape shit on her. im a very affectionate loving person who likes to cuddle all night and hold her. i do get a pissy lil attitude that she calls my period. shes says im really not an asshole. but i dont even want to get my "period". i get quiet because i dont want get mad so im in controll over it mostly. i do hold my breath and wait to talk about something that bothers me. comumication is a huge factor to me and feel every relationship needs to have good comm and discuss things that bother ppl before they turn into fights and resentments. and when i have to say the same thing 10 times a day, yes i get annoyed. and i do get annoyed easy. im not a monster. we both have a lot on our plate, and working it out. she moved in and had to find a job out here, and i have been support the both of us with no job at all. and its stressful.  she found a very good  job and will start  getting paid next week. shes very smart, shes almost a damn dr. but has no common sense at all. so i do get pissed at lil things that are just common sense. i know its just relationship issues and thats not where i wanted to take this. i  have no problem talking about my issues , admitting to my wrongs. as u all know by my posts i will talk about anything whether its embarrassing or not. i guess i just need to work it out. i thoguth maybe there was some a.i or something i can take to stop the test from making me annoyed. i know all of ppl that have been on gear and it seems like every1 gets like this when cycling in my eyes. i guess maybe im wrong and its not the test. ty guys for talking to me like bros, and grimm. i appreciate that advice alot. ty all  bros.


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## djpase (Feb 23, 2015)

srd1 said:


> I did a log on oxytocin and epithalon shit worked for me brother accomplished everyting it claimed to do. It will prob help you alot with getting a full night of restfull sleep also...but in my opinion it would just be a band aid fix for ya learning to cope with the different issues as they arise will benefit you a great deal more in the long run. As far as the test making you aggressive Im actually more calm and laid back when im on cycle (with the exception of tren) What Ive noticed over the years with different people is if your a dick before a cycle youll be an even bigger dick when your on...if your cool and laid back normally you will be even more so when on. Just my 2 pennies.



i do tren with every cycle. i was planning on runnin a gram a week of tren ace this time. fml...... alot of good advice from every1 so far. but i really am laid back normally. this only happens when in a relationship, and on cycle to me. im def gonna try oxytxin. when i take xanax im not like this either. but i dont want to make it a habbit of taking xanax. its not the answer either


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## thebrick (Feb 23, 2015)

No worries. I know for a fact you are a good man, bro. I use my little technique even on the little irritations. Helps my blood pressure


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## turbobusa (Feb 23, 2015)

Good advice from these guys. Psych is a personal friend in "real" life and I can tell you he knows his shit.I spent decades with a ah shit i'm going to prison this time type temper. Was really bad.Grim mentioned being in the now. Very good advice as
we only have the moment. I'm guessing you do have a lot of underlying fear and anxiety. That was what had me so f--ed up for so long.I would cut that tren way the fuck down or out.I know that one will make your situation worse.
Try some morning meditation and relinquish your grip on the past.
Resentments as well are what we need to lose . They do us no good whatsoever.I'm gonna pm you. Thanks , T.................


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## psych (Feb 23, 2015)

Hey bro if you were given xanax cause you were diagnosed with GAD then maybe you need to be back on...

If your not sleeping (i work nights i know) thats hard. Do you have apnea or snore?

But if this happens on cycle and you dont want to stop just think about this.

Do you ever feel  you need to cut down on AAS?
Are other people annoyed by you taking them or by the side effects?
Do you feel guilt or resentment over the time/money/effort put into them?
Can you not function without them? 
Cause you might need to cycle off bro. I said "might", not do. Or just avoid tren......hell my g/f told me not to take that shit again cause i got BBAAADDDD on it.


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## srd1 (Feb 23, 2015)

Brother you might try doin a run without the tren the short fuse and not being able to sleep are classic tren sides.


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## chrisr116 (Feb 23, 2015)

Tren is banned in my home.  Wife said she'd divorce me if I ever used it again.


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## djpase (Feb 24, 2015)

chrisr116 said:


> Tren is banned in my home.  Wife said she'd divorce me if I ever used it again.



wow tren really is that bad then i see. what can i take a replacement? it works soo damn good. i have soo much test and nothing to stack it with really. i stopped deca b/c i was having problems staying hard so i thought  that was a contributor. i wanna try npp.


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## Akamai (Feb 24, 2015)

If honestly looking something to take Go to Q's thread on Kratom

Ak


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## srd1 (Feb 24, 2015)

djpase said:


> wow tren really is that bad then i see. what can i take a replacement? it works soo damn good. i have soo much test and nothing to stack it with really. i stopped deca b/c i was having problems staying hard so i thought  that was a contributor. i wanna try npp.


NPP is one of my favorites...Im a fan of winstrol also just have to be careful when on it it dries you out but pushes your strength thru the roof so gotta be careful and warm up real good before pushing heavy to avoid injuries.


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## ASHOP (Feb 24, 2015)

djpase said:


> well since im from new york and moved down south , i know that will never change.
> 
> but seriously i really need to do something to stop being such an asshole. my attitude is crazy and i flip out on my girl for the smallest thing. even when ppl are driving the speed limit in front of me i just wanna rip them out of the car and beat them to a bloody pulp. i have the sweetest girl in the world and shes so supportive of everything i do good and bad. things moved very fast and she now lives with me. so its all new and stressful. i really want to be nice and i do hold back alot but i just want to be really nice to her because she deserves it and overall im a very chill person. i know i took this last cycle way too far(5 months) but im cruising now for 8 weeks. its calming down a lil bit, but i know when i start up again im gonna go back to being a dick all the time. i honestly dont mean to be, but i just cant help it. what can i take if anything to help that? not cycling is not an option. and i used to say all the time that ppl who cant handle gear shouldnt be using it if they cant control there tempers. low and behold , thats now me... i was fine untill she moved in but now its bad because im with her all the time. she cant move at right now nor do i want that. i just want to be nice.. pls dont get into relationship advice, i just want to take a happy pill or something.
> 
> im 100% serious about this too, pls help bros



You may want to re-consider your comment 'cycling is not an option'. Perhaps at minimal you could reduce dosages and/or use AAS that don't increase aggression so severe.


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## chrisr116 (Feb 24, 2015)

djpase said:


> wow tren really is that bad then i see. what can i take a replacement? it works soo damn good. i have soo much test and nothing to stack it with really. i stopped deca b/c i was having problems staying hard so i thought  that was a contributor. i wanna try npp.



I'm on deca now, along with test.  I am having anxiety issues for the first time on deca.  I am not sure if it is the deca, my stressful world (wife in Nursing School to be an RN), or the idiots I work with.  lol.  I liked tren, felt great on it but my wife says it changes me.  Ugly women look attractive.  The problem is she knows more about AAS than most of us by living with me.  I taught her too much, and she studies on it.  She would spot that amber gold in a second..she pins me.  Lol.  I may end up just running a gram of high quality test in the future for my cycles.  It is cheap and doesn't cause issues for me.  Like one of Alins cycle's says....Test is best...lol
For a tren sub..I would try Deca or Eq.  Or maybe test and masteron.  Just my 2 cents


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## humpthebobcat (Feb 24, 2015)

djpase said:


> . i used to smoke an ounce a day when i was younger, but stopped. the exotics today are off the hook and just get me too high to enjoy it.



They have high CBD, low THC strains that are incrediblly medicinal...such as charlottes web, Dr. Sanjay Gupta was so impressed he made a special about it...


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## djpase (Feb 24, 2015)

i really dont want to get too much into the relationship issues but after today im thinking half tren and half is just the relationship. i dont want to get into it, she is a sweetheart but come with more baggage then j.f.k airport. just moved way too fast without getting to know each other and we are just not compatible. 2 main things fr me in making any relationship work is trust and communication. i have never given her any reason not to trust me at all yet she feels the need to go thru my phone to check my texts and call logs every day when im sleeping. i dont do that to her. and im allways with her or stuck home becuase she cant drive her own car so i give her mine all day while im stuck home. and as far as communication i cant even confront her in a mature nice way at all about her own behaviors or she gets mad and walls go up. yes she is very sweet but i dont think we are compatable.


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## djpase (Feb 24, 2015)

this really is not even a a/as discussion anymore. lol


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## humpthebobcat (Feb 24, 2015)

maybe she needs the joint lol


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## get it in ya (Feb 24, 2015)

djpase said:


> wow tren really is that bad then i see. what can i take a replacement? it works soo damn good. i have soo much test and nothing to stack it with really. i stopped deca b/c i was having problems staying hard so i thought  that was a contributor. i wanna try npp.



all steroids make me have a short fuse, no patience, aggressive. I am a very calm guy when off. no way I can even touch tren. one shot and the next day my world becomes dark. I have learned at this point the only thing I can do is test without the crazy mood swings.


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## *Bio* (Feb 24, 2015)

djpase said:


> ok let me say something because i think i made it sound way worse then it really is. im not hitting her, screaming at her, throwing stufff or punching holes in my walls or anything like that at all. as far as driving, yes i always have had road rage and yell at every car i see. but i dont do that to my girl. i do get a lil attitude very easy but im not yelling at her and goin roid rage ape shit on her. im a very affectionate loving person who likes to cuddle all night and hold her. i do get a pissy lil attitude that she calls my period. shes says im really not an asshole. but i dont even want to get my "period". i get quiet because i dont want get mad so im in controll over it mostly. i do hold my breath and wait to talk about something that bothers me. comumication is a huge factor to me and feel every relationship needs to have good comm and discuss things that bother ppl before they turn into fights and resentments. and when i have to say the same thing 10 times a day, yes i get annoyed. and i do get annoyed easy. im not a monster. we both have a lot on our plate, and working it out. she moved in and had to find a job out here, and i have been support the both of us with no job at all. and its stressful.  she found a very good  job and will start  getting paid next week. shes very smart, shes almost a damn dr. but has no common sense at all. so i do get pissed at lil things that are just common sense. i know its just relationship issues and thats not where i wanted to take this. i  have no problem talking about my issues , admitting to my wrongs. as u all know by my posts i will talk about anything whether its embarrassing or not. i guess i just need to work it out. i thoguth maybe there was some a.i or something i can take to stop the test from making me annoyed. i know all of ppl that have been on gear and it seems like every1 gets like this when cycling in my eyes. i guess maybe im wrong and its not the test. ty guys for talking to me like bros, and grimm. i appreciate that advice alot. ty all  bros.



DJ you have some really good advice to follow!  The best thing I read from you was that you are willing to see a therapist...This seems like the best option for you!  Between your first post and the one I've quoted above you do have a serious issue with your temper...More than you realize!  I think you know where you want to be but just don't have the tools to get there, which is why you should see someone.  It takes a strong individual to say they need help!

Also, please abandon the 1 gram of Tren idea for now and consider some TRT for the time being...You yourself have said your temper seems to increase while using gear.  You'll never get what you need out of therapy, if you don't go in with a clearer head!  Going in with an open mind is the other thing you need to do.  If you find yourself not wanting to do what the therapist is asking of you, keep in mind that up until know, your way hasn't been successful and you're there for a good reason!!

Deep down I think you are a good guy and well meaning person but if you don't get a handle on this, you will undoubtedly end up sabotaging romantic relationships as well as friendships.

Best of luck DJ!


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## djpase (Feb 24, 2015)

*Bio* said:


> DJ you have some really good advice to follow!  The best thing I read from you was that you are willing to see a therapist...This seems like the best option for you!  Between your first post and the one I've quoted above you do have a serious issue with your temper...More than you realize!  I think you know where you want to be but just don't have the tools to get there, which is why you should see someone.  It takes a strong individual to say they need help!
> 
> Also, please abandon the 1 gram of Tren idea for now and consider some TRT for the time being...You yourself have said your temper seems to increase while using gear.  You'll never get what you need out of therapy, if you don't go in with a clearer head!  Going in with an open mind is the other thing you need to do.  If you find yourself not wanting to do what the therapist is asking of you, keep in mind that up until know, your way hasn't been successful and you're there for a good reason!!
> 
> ...



wow thx alot bio. appreciate every1 really showing concern and taking time to respond. i am on trt as of 3 weeks ago.


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## BigBob (Feb 24, 2015)

A lot of great Advice. Your gonna be OK man.


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## djpase (Feb 26, 2015)

thx guys , went to get lab results and my test levels were 4239.02, and my t3 was high. also my overall pituitary , and thyroid he said is low. and he said thats prob why im in such a bad mood? im really a laid back guy. im am gonna seek counseling, and really not do a super strong  cycle. i also am prob going in for back surgery pretty soon, ill find out in about 3 weeks or so. well if i do i cant work out for 3 months anyway. thats gonna suck. i work so hard to be were im at. i know ill get it right back tho. anyway, ty guys for real


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## *Bio* (Feb 26, 2015)

djpase said:


> thx guys , went to get lab results and my test levels were 4239.02, and my t3 was high. also my overall pituitary , and thyroid he said is low. and he said thats prob why im in such a bad mood? im really a laid back guy. im am gonna seek counseling, and really not do a super strong  cycle. i also am prob going in for back surgery pretty soon, ill find out in about 3 weeks or so. well if i do i cant work out for 3 months anyway. thats gonna suck. i work so hard to be were im at. i know ill get it right back tho. anyway, ty guys for real



DJ what back surgery are you having done?  I just had a two level fusion on L4-5 and L5s1 on December 3rd.  My 3 month recovery has turned into a 6 month recovery.   Believe me, it's very taxing on your sanity!  I still have a neck surgery that I have to do as well!  With Test levels that high, make sure your hematocrit is in check before you go for your pre-op blood work!  Having it high will cause great concern with your doctors and could postpone your surgery...They don't want you to throw a clot in surgery or recovery.

Hit me up with a PM if you want to talk about it!


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## turbobusa (Feb 26, 2015)

OI was delayed almost 3 months waiting for my bloods to fall. 
Not the crit so much for delay was hemo globan or rbc of just over 20.
Had to get into low 17's for surgery.. 
Thanks , T.....


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## djpase (Mar 1, 2015)

*Bio* said:


> DJ what back surgery are you having done?  I just had a two level fusion on L4-5 and L5s1 on December 3rd.  My 3 month recovery has turned into a 6 month recovery.   Believe me, it's very taxing on your sanity!  I still have a neck surgery that I have to do as well!  With Test levels that high, make sure your hematocrit is in check before you go for your pre-op blood work!  Having it high will cause great concern with your doctors and could postpone your surgery...They don't want you to throw a clot in surgery or recovery.
> 
> Hit me up with a PM if you want to talk about it!



damn bro sorry to hear that. 
im not exactly sure yet what surgery options are. i have been on pain management for almost 3 yrs. and i cant take it anymore.  i seen a surgeon and have a follow up to see my options in 3 weeks. they needed new mri and xrays. my problem is mostly between l5/s1.  i have degenerative discs, bulging disks.  also sciatica, and slight scoliosis.  i have even shrunk about an inch or so in height due to degeneration. but thats what im worried about is the recovery time.  how do u feel after you healed up?

on another note i do have an appointment with a shrink on tuesday. so does my girl. separate appointments. we also had a real good talk about things and i have been totally in control of my attitude, even when shes flipping out. im starting to think thats 50% of it is me, and 50% is her too. im not as much as an asshole i think. she is sweet but theres is no taking to her like adults. when i catch her doing something wrong and she knows shes caught she will flip out like a lil kid when confronted. i also catch her in lies alot and gets mad at me when i catch her. her ex husband really did some very horrible things to her and the kids , you wouldn't believe someone could do that to some 1 they love.  she is messed up in the head for life. im trying to be there for her but its so hard when someone is brainwashed and so broken down mentally. its a very hard relationship and she moved in as soon as we met because she really dont have anywhere else to go, and i really do want for things to work out and be happy with her. im out of work and supporting 2 ppl right now, she will start getting a paycheck in a few days. shit is just very rough right now and im very stressed out. but like i said i have been holding back 100% and she has been the one who has been flying off the handle now.


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## humpthebobcat (Mar 1, 2015)

I'm sure the paycheck coming in will help alleviate some stress...


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## *Bio* (Mar 2, 2015)

djpase said:


> damn bro sorry to hear that.
> im not exactly sure yet what surgery options are. i have been on pain management for almost 3 yrs. and i cant take it anymore.  i seen a surgeon and have a follow up to see my options in 3 weeks. they needed new mri and xrays. my problem is mostly between l5/s1.  i have degenerative discs, bulging disks.  also sciatica, and slight scoliosis.  i have even shrunk about an inch or so in height due to degeneration. but thats what im worried about is the recovery time.  how do u feel after you healed up?
> 
> on another note i do have an appointment with a shrink on tuesday. so does my girl. separate appointments. we also had a real good talk about things and i have been totally in control of my attitude, even when shes flipping out. im starting to think thats 50% of it is me, and 50% is her too. im not as much as an asshole i think. she is sweet but theres is no taking to her like adults. when i catch her doing something wrong and she knows shes caught she will flip out like a lil kid when confronted. i also catch her in lies alot and gets mad at me when i catch her. her ex husband really did some very horrible things to her and the kids , you wouldn't believe someone could do that to some 1 they love.  she is messed up in the head for life. im trying to be there for her but its so hard when someone is brainwashed and so broken down mentally. its a very hard relationship and she moved in as soon as we met because she really dont have anywhere else to go, and i really do want for things to work out and be happy with her. im out of work and supporting 2 ppl right now, she will start getting a paycheck in a few days. shit is just very rough right now and im very stressed out. but like i said i have been holding back 100% and she has been the one who has been flying off the handle now.



I think it's great that both of you are going!  That's how it should be...Congrats on that!!

As far as pain and being recovered, I'll let you know once I've recovered! LOL!!  Even if you have a fusion at L5s1, that's not that bad of a surgery...I spoke to a lady that didn't need any pain meds after it.  When you get into two or more, things can get bad...Plus it depends how long you've been in pain...I know you said 3 years...I've been in chronic pain for roughly 25 years!!  I had a failed lamenectomy surgery in '98.  My back trouble started in my late teens and became chronic in my early 20's.

Anyway, it sounds like you and your girlfriend are headed in the right direction!  Best of luck DJ!!


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## djpase (Mar 2, 2015)

*Bio* said:


> I think it's great that both of you are going!  That's how it should be...Congrats on that!!
> 
> As far as pain and being recovered, I'll let you know once I've recovered! LOL!!  Even if you have a fusion at L5s1, that's not that bad of a surgery...I spoke to a lady that didn't need any pain meds after it.  When you get into two or more, things can get bad...Plus it depends how long you've been in pain...I know you said 3 years...I've been in chronic pain for roughly 25 years!!  I had a failed lamenectomy surgery in '98.  My back trouble started in my late teens and became chronic in my early 20's.
> 
> Anyway, it sounds like you and your girlfriend are headed in the right direction!  Best of luck DJ!!



damn bro, i hope you recover soon. yes we are both goin tom, we both need it badly.  i also started my oxytocin last night and woke up in an amazing mood and we are getting along great. im not a morning person at all either. hope you feel better soon bro


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## Concreteguy (Mar 3, 2015)

djpase said:


> well since im from new york and moved down south , i know that will never change.
> 
> but seriously i really need to do something to stop being such an asshole. my attitude is crazy and i flip out on my girl for the smallest thing. even when ppl are driving the speed limit in front of me i just wanna rip them out of the car and beat them to a bloody pulp. i have the sweetest girl in the world and shes so supportive of everything i do good and bad. things moved very fast and she now lives with me. so its all new and stressful. i really want to be nice and i do hold back alot but i just want to be really nice to her because she deserves it and overall im a very chill person. i know i took this last cycle way too far(5 months) but im cruising now for 8 weeks. its calming down a lil bit, but i know when i start up again im gonna go back to being a dick all the time. i honestly dont mean to be, but i just cant help it. what can i take if anything to help that? not cycling is not an option. and i used to say all the time that ppl who cant handle gear shouldnt be using it if they cant control there tempers. low and behold , thats now me... i was fine untill she moved in but now its bad because im with her all the time. she cant move at right now nor do i want that. i just want to be nice.. pls dont get into relationship advice, i just want to take a happy pill or something.
> 
> im 100% serious about this too, pls help bros



 Open a thread about a guy complaining he's an asshole and I see  ^^^^^^^BANNED^^^^^^^^^

LOL.......funny shit!

CG


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## Magnus82 (Mar 4, 2015)

Concreteguy said:


> Open a thread about a guy complaining he's an asshole and I see  ^^^^^^^BANNED^^^^^^^^^
> 
> LOL.......funny shit!
> 
> CG



Lol,  kind of like the ugl rep that suggested to someone that you should triple the dose of test cause ugl's are very underdosed.


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## The Grim Repper (Mar 4, 2015)

chrisr116 said:


> Tren is banned in my home.  Wife said she'd divorce me if I ever used it again.


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## chrisr116 (Mar 4, 2015)

The Grim Repper said:


>



I'll just tell her my new batch of test is supposed be that dark amber color and make me smell funny when I sweat...lol


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