# 50 reasons to lift Big Weights



## STEELADDICTION (Sep 11, 2005)

50 reasons to lift Big Weights
By Dave Tate


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Spending the last few weeks working on rehabilitation and getting my  body ready for the next run makes you sit back and think about what you are missing out on. Spending most of my life in pursuit of bigger  weights and lifting in well over 100 meets I have picked up a few things  along the way. Since the article "Reasons to Get Big" I have been  asked to write another one. Well without any future introduction, The 50  reasons to lift big weights. 


1. Nothing better than a self inflected nose bleed 
2. Blood shot eyes are better to look at. 

3. It's the only time you can scream in Latin and everyone thinks  it's cool. 

4. A beanie hat indoors is cool. Well maybe not. 

5. Shit stained underwear is the mark of a great workout. 

6. Plates look better on the bar then they do in the rack. 

7. The only time a cubic centimeter can make a huge difference. 

8. Being bloated is a good thing. 

9. A vein means you need to eat another Big Mac, or three. 

10. Bending cheap bars is an honor. 

11. Wearing tight polyester and canvas is better than spandex. 

12. 1 heavy rep is much better than any set of 10. 

13. Strip sets are what you call taking off your squat suit. Sometimes you need a few spotters to get those final extra reps. 

14. Your definition of a good shirt is not a cotton silk blend with an alligator on it but a Metal logo with Velcro. Be careful you may find  yourself at your brothers wedding pulling the front of your tux shirt  down low and cinching your belt super tight to aid in the beer bong  process.  

15. A Rap has nothing to do with music but a special blend of  rubber and cotton that can add more weight to your squat. 

16. Letters like AD, A50,D,V,GH,TC all carry new meaning. 

17. A PR is to live and die for. 

18. A side stitch is what happens when you go to whip your ass. 

19. A jolt is not a Cola. 

20. Blown Blood vessels means you can still add more weight. 

21. Being bald is the new look. 

22. A bad back means it times to get a reverse hyper machine. 

23. Any turd can superset concentration curls with one arm reverse grip  supinated cable pressdowns. 

24. Board Presses are a max effort movement not reading the paper  between sets on bench presses. 

25. Agility is bending over to get your ammonia caps out of your gym bag  with your knee wraps on and suit straps up. 

26. Blowing ass on your way to finishing a lift is known as doing  whatever it tales to get the weight up. 

27. Taking a hockey bag full of gear into the gym makes you feel like a  pro athlete. Funny thing is my bag is bigger than the football bag I  used to use to carry my helmet and shoulder pads in. Then again all I  had to do was play ball, now I have to squat, bench press and dead lift.  

28. A knobber is something you stick into you back to break up scar  tissue. 

29. The incline bench is the perfect place to rest between sets. 

30. The dips bars are there to help you get your suit on. 

31. A cable cross over machine is just.. in the damn way! 

32. Mirrors are only to see what that funky thing is growing off the  back of your neck. 

33. Hot dogs are what you find on the back of your training partners  head. 

34. Stiff leg deadlifts standing on a flat bench and touching the bench.  Give me a break! Real men stand on a 1/2 inch plate and load the bar to  the max. 

35. Who cares about dimes, nickels and chips? It's all about plates  and quarters. 

36. Every time you meet a veterinarian, you look at him in a whole new  light. 

37. Who needs carb drinks during training? You can now keep a sandwich  in your bag for after you bench.  

38. You know your tailor by first name but do not own a single sport  coat or suit. 

39. When someone asks about a new suit the furthest thing form your mind  is brooks brothers. 

40. Your choice of condom is anything triple ply with two layers and a  short reservoir head. 

41. Plates are not what you eat off of but what you place on the bar.  You eat out of boxes and plastic and paper wrappers. 

42. Wrestling shoes are now pulling shoes; Chucks are now squatting  shoes and you have to bench in whatever you wore in the gym. 

43. If you can put a band on it then it's gotta work and is just what  you need! 

44. You will have a whole other genre of music to listen to ranging from  DMX to Dark Throne. 

45. If someone is weaker than you, then they can't tell you anything.  That is until you are speaking with someone who may be stronger than you  then you know it all. 

46. Your choice of gyms will reduced by 99% until you are training in  your garage, tool shed or basement. 

47. A brief is something with a Metal Logo on it. If the time comes when  you ask your spouse to jack up the back of your underwear before you  leave the house then you know you are lifting to many big weights 

48. If someone has a stronger RAW bench then who cares your shirt bench  is bigger. If someone has a bigger shirt bench, then who cares he gets a  300 pound carryover. Never forget the golden rule, you are always  stronger, have better form and more knowledge than anyone else. * I'm  sorry this may piss someone off but you have to admit that it is funny  as hell. 

49. Clamps should always go on bars, not nipples. 

50. Lifting big is the only good excuse, outside of being an infant, to  shit your pants. 

It is things like this that keep me coming back time and time again. The  bottom line is a few hundreds on each side of the bar look better than a  couple dimes. 

If any of these slip your briefs under your belt or split your chest  panel, relax we are just having fun.


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## tee (Sep 11, 2005)

LOL   Good one!


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## healthfreak (Sep 11, 2005)

STEELADDICTION said:
			
		

> 50 reasons to lift Big Weights
> By Dave Tate
> 5. Shit stained underwear is the mark of a great workout.
> .



Nice.


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## a-bomb83 (Sep 12, 2005)

ha!!! thats awesome. so true, yet i've still not shat my pants yet.


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## Freejay (Sep 12, 2005)

Very Funny!  I've always admired powerlifters, but my personal training goals are completely different.


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## daved150 (Sep 12, 2005)

Lol..thats Great


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## DragonRider (Sep 13, 2005)

Good stuff Steel.


The best part is...we get it. Some people just wouldn't understand.


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## Andrew (Sep 29, 2005)

*blood shot eyes*

So lifting heavy causes blood shot eyes?  I've had blood shot eyes for a long time now but I didnt know why.  It makes sense because my eyes bulge pretty freaky like when I do barbell shrugs.


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## Testosperone (Oct 13, 2005)

my eyes get blood shot for a completely different reason


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## Captain Canuck (Oct 13, 2005)

Man that was a long post!

Nice post STEELADDICTION I thought # 5 was funny.


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